Thursday, September 24, 2009

30 weeks!

I must remember to upload pics tonight or tomorrow instead of a week from now! The stupid USB cable I use is being a pain. Also updating my webpage with a few new things.

My fundal height is the same as it was two weeks ago, so that isn't so great. However it also doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem as her head seems to be pretty far down. I have been ordered to eat more fats. Yay for the order to eat cheeseburgers! Well, healthy fat. Like avocados. I have an intense love of avocados, so no one has to tell me twice to increase avocado-consumption. :)

On Freecycle two night ago, very late, maybe about 2am, someone listed a Singer sewing machine for sale. It doesn't have the ankle (the piece that holds the foot) or the cables, but it does have the manual and is the same exact model of machine my mother first taught me to sew on. So now I have it. :) I don't know if it works, but that's no concern. I can fix it. Just need to get the cables at some time and see first off it it powers up.

Going from Apple to the midwife's yesterday, I drove along the coast, top down on the convertible, classic rock music play, the dogs looking to be in a state of complete bliss. Little things like this make me love living here more than ever.

Also my baby shower is in another three weeks. I'm looking forward to that!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

29-week pictures

I really need to get these up in a more timely manner! Starting to really get a bump now! I think it looks cute. It's amazing to realize there's a tiny human being in there.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Some parents need to learn to be parents

I have seen kids misbehaving in public, and I have seen parents ignoring their misbehaving kids. Tonight I was the worst of both I've ever seen, and they were at the same time.

I went to JoAnn's for some gold ribbon and more purple dye. While I was there, a lady came in with her two kids, a girl who was about 4 and a boy of about 2. She proceeds to ignore them entirely.

Her kids began running around screaming blood murder at the top of their lungs, being insane little hell-raisers. The kids kept running around all over the store, heads down, arms flailing about, chasing each other and screaming screaming fucking screaming, hitting people ad hitting other things. The only time they stopped was to try bouncing glass on the floor. Another shopper took the glass (it was a decorative glass ball) away so they wouldn't shatter it and get hurt. I was run into twice, head-barreled in the stomach once. I finally asked the mom nicely, knowing that getting pissy would do nothing, "Would you please not let your kids scream? It's giving me a very bad headache." Her response was to say to me, "Then go home." The two employees (employees aren't really allowed to say anything) who were right there and two other customers right by me were stunned that her response was to tell me to go home and to continue ignoring her kids knocking stuff off a shelf behind her.

Customers did start leaving, commenting to each other, "I'm leaving, I'm not putting up with that anymore." I finally decided to do the same, only also asked to speak with a manager, though one wasn't to be found. By that point, only four customers were left in the store, me, that lady, and two others. Those two others were also leaving by then, and when I started recounting to the clerk what I'd seen those kids doing and that they ran into me twice, the other two ladies jumped in with things they also saw the kids doing, one which was the one to take the glass away from the boy. The other lady's final straw was when those kids tried grabbing her cart away from her as they ran by. The first lady was there when I asked the mom to not let her kids scream.

Then I left without getting everything I needed. I went to the grocery store in the same plaza, figuring I'd go back after getting what I needed. Well, I knew when that stupid lady left because, despite being about 200 yards away, I could hear those damned kids screaming bloody murder outside. By the time I got back to JoAnn's, it was quiet, and it was easy to see that the poor employees were relieved she was gone. Unfortunately they did have a bunch of messes to clean up, which they were starting on.

I can understand when kids are talking to each other and just being very loud. I can understand ignoring a kid so they learn their tantrums aren't going to get them candy. But no matter what, if property is getting damaged and people are being hurt or at risk of being hurt, then you don't have the right to ignore your kid and claim it's a parenting style.

Just living

Yesterday Cody's mom and I went out and did stuff. Like that's descriptive. :) Specifically we went to link at the Woodranch Grill, which was very yummy. Grilled salmon, crab cakes, mashed sweet potatoes, warm cheesy spinach dip, and hot buttered rolls. Oh, and peach smoothies! Veeerry good. And then to get invitations to my baby shower! Yup, I'm actually having one next month!! From there, shopping at Old Navy where she got me some new maternity jeans (the ones I've been wearing were really better for early maternity), and some tops. I can't believe how much of a belly I'm getting now! This little girl loves to beat the hell out of me from the inside.

And then we got a rocking chair for the nursery and a couple big ol' cat condo-things, one that's about 7' tall and one that is about 4 1/2'. The cats are having a hay day. We're going to rearrange the garage into an animal area and refer to it as "storage". :) Stuff in there for the cats to do, the dogs, etc., because, if we need to have the animals confined at any time, such as if we do have the birth here, then we would rather then have a fun space instead of being locked in our bedroom with nothing to do and not enough space to play, and they sure as hell won't go into my sewing room or the nursery. So the garage will be the animals' room for a while.

I've been sewing quite a bit too, only some of it dress stuff because I'm focusing more on nursery stuff. I'm making all the bedding, for instance.

Friday night I'm hostessing a ladies' dinner and move night.

Really not a whole lot else is going on.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Our kitchen

Our kitchen is severely in need of a cleaning. By severely, I mean it would take about ten minutes, but I just don't wanna.

It's so much nicer having a kitchen larger enough for us to both be in there with all the animals and to not feel crunched. In our old kitchen, we were squished with just the two of us in there. We're not fat people. It was just so small that there wasn't room to move safely with knives around and the stove on. With the oven door open, you had to stand to the side of the oven. That's pretty squishy. You couldn't have both the over and dishwasher doors open at the same time. Here, you can, AND still have room for us and the animals. I'm still tickled with happiness about this.

I love the bar counter.

The computer nook. Our PCs are in this area.

And, for the hell of it, here's a gratuitous peek at our liquor cabinet. The bottom half id full of more bottles and more types of glasses.

Okay, okay, perhaps I should go ahead and go clean the kitchen. Dinner's already cooking, pork roast, so cleaning now means faster clean-up.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Our master bathroom

Very high ceilings in here. The bathtub/shower has a Roman bath, one of those deeper oval ones. This is surprisingly nice. Above and to the left of it is a window. It's relaxing to kick back in this tub and just...relax.

That rail you see is in the shower. We have an ADA-compliant unit that includes these little extras, which is nice because it helps me with things like not falling when I'm trying to get out of the tub alone. It's surprising how being pregnant makes things like that more difficult. It's also nice for when my blood sugar decides to plummet and I get dizzy.

It's hard to complain about a double sink. Mine's on the left. Guess which one has strands of face hair. Yeah, that's why I'm glad to have my own sink. Cdy can keep his face fur on his side.

Ah, the throne! Take about three steps ito the bathroom and look toward 2 o'clock, and you get this.

Thrilling. It's the cabinet that you face when on the toilet.

And next? Maybe the kitchen.

Tour of mi casa

Well, I promised a few people pictures of our new place, so I may as well post! One or two rooms per day, I think. Except in the hallway, all ceilings are 9.5'-ceilings

This is our guest bathroom. It is literally larger than the kitchen at our old place. The same linoleum was used, so it's easy to be able to let you know the size difference. The old kitchen was 11 squared deep (the number from the door to the bathtub), with fewer than four squares between the sink and stove. That's how narrow the space to move around was. Look at how much room is in this bathroom!

Eventually we'll get around to finding the bath rugs for the floor. This shower hasn't been used for anything since we have a master bath for that stuff.

Those mirrors on the counter that don't look like mirrors from that angle are still sitting there.

The green towel under the dark green washcloth (both are on top of another dark green towel) is what made me decide to get all this bathroom stuff. It was on sale at Linens 'n' Things, I loved the trim, so themed the bathroom of my San Jose apartment with it.

That painting is of the Santa Barbara Mission and is by Mikki Senkarik. Over a period of about two months five years ago or so I acquired ten pieces from her.

Those vases have food-colored water. They're not mildewy or anything.

Up later today: The master bathroom

Saturday, September 12, 2009

I feel fat, so so fat

My waist is up to 34" (up from 26") and my abdomen at 39" (from 34"). Someone remind me NOT to measure myself for a while. I know it's baby growing, but I'll admit that, after working so insanely hard to lose so much weight, about 280 pounds lost, it's still kind of hard watching the numbers go back up and makes me feel like hyperventilating and crying.

Friday, September 11, 2009

28-week pictures, and other stuff

Yesterday I had an appointment with the midwife. In two weeks, my fundal height grew 3cm, from 23cm at 26 weeks, to 26cm at 28 weeks. Nice, strong heartbeat. I also gad the gestational diabetes test, but unlike at Stanford, I didn't have to drink that super-overly-sweet stuff. I ate food instead, toast, egg, juice, and milk. So much more pleasant. No empty sugar. Just ate a breakfast, lounged on the comfy couch at the birthing center, enjoyable time. Appointments there are so much nicer and more relaxing than a doctor's office.

On the way home, I put the top down on the convertible and drive along the ocean a ways, classic rock on the radio, the girls being typical dogs and loving the feeling of running without doing the work, or whatever it is that makes dogs love to stick their heads out windows. It's just so fun to drive along the ocean with the wind in your hair. Convertibles kick major ass.

Have some pictures.

Still not looking too pregnant when covered.

There's the bump! I'm fully aware I've got marks on my skin, yes, they're stretch marks, yes, I wish they weren't there, but whining about it does no good. It's odd though that the camera makes them look so dark when they're really about the same color as my skin. But hey, there's a baby in there, and that's what matters! She' growing, she's healthy, and she's ours!


Our baby's diapers are on the way and should be here by the end of the week, this package. I don't know if 24 of them is "all the diapers [our] baby will ever need", but it's a start. It's amazing how far cloth diapers have come from when I was a baby and they were the white rectangles that had to be folded first (hence being referred to as "prefolds"). Not only are they shaped like disposables with liners and everything to prevent leaks, but they work over such a variety of sizes. I've heard that smaller newborns are sometimes too small, so either disposables or come of the prefolds may be needed for the first weeks.

I'm so glad we have a washer and dryer. Not all apartments do, but ours does, and it's large capacity for home ones.


I got another dress finished. Perhaps I should start on some that are smaller than a size 1. Charlotte won't be wearing that size for a year or so after she's born. I've got two more size 1's cut out to finish first, and then I'll start on a couple smaller ones for Christmas.

I do have the silk for the top of her crib blanket cut out. It's just so many pieces!! Many yards of silk chiffon have to be gathered into 4" strips and sewn to strips of silk taffeta before they can all be put together. (The silk's been prewashed, so won't shrink when washed later.) It's going to be pretty, and based off of a blanket I saw on Victorian Trading Co. years ago that I still love.

It's so hella nice having a dedicated sewing room again, an entire room just for all my sewing stuff. I've taken pictures, and soon I'll post them. This apartment really is like living in a house, with more square footage (plus a private attached garage!) than the typical American house. It's such a change from the tiny little closetapartment we were in before.


Our bank sucks. Or should I say, our old bank now! Chase. You know them. We had the final straw. A pre-scheduled funds transfer from one account to another was not done, causing a ton in overdrafts since our bills all went through that day. And then the day after it was scheduled it was done. Despite having confirmation of the day the transfer was supposed to happen, Chase said it was our fault for scheduling the transfer online rather than in a branch, and so claim the right to keep hundreds of dollars in overdrafts, and overdraft fees charged because of having overdrafts. Our account wouldn't have gone negative at all, far from it, had the transfer been done as scheduled.

Since we have so much baby stuff to buy, and are buying it, we are definitely in a state where every hundred dollars matters. So being down several hundred in fees makes us nearly broke for another week. The transfer finally going through a day late brought our account positive, but just barely. We are beyond fortunate enough to be in a situation where this is, in the grand scheme of life, nothing more than a minor inconvenience and a major headache rather the road to homelessness and/or hunger.

We've had problem after problem with the bank since it became Chase. Our old banker (as in prior-to-move) was incredibly frustrated with them too, frustrated enough that she was planning to quit, she told me. Not long after we moved, I called to speak with her and she was indeed gone. In the month we've been here, this is the second major screw-up they made. Wamu was a great bank. Chase? It should be taken over by Xenu or something. It can't be worse than it is.

So Tuesday we went and opened an account with a credit union and Chase can fuck off. I'm no happy about this it's unbelievable. I've spent more time on the phone arguing with Chase every single day since they screwed up this time (almost a week, and YES, they DO have people in on Labor Day!! - I made myself enough of a pain to them to find that out when one of their upper-tier managers had to call be back on Monday, only to claim no one in the entire company can do a thing to reverse the charges, even with my documentation) than it took at the credit union. A good couple hours or more a day wasted on the phone with Chase versus being in and out the CU's doors in under 20 minutes.


I'm dragging my feet on cleaning. It'll take about an hour to clean everything that needs it, yet all I want to do is bead. I'm working on some new jewelry to add to my etsy shop and website. Eh, off to do it. Right after eating chocolate pie. PIE. Yum.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

What happened to Yoda?

I've been asked three times in the past couple days how Yoda died, if he couldn't have been saved.

Yoda was 23 years old, almost 24. This is many many years longer than average for a cat. I'm sure another year or two might have been squeezed out of him if I had begged a vet to drug him up, but I wasn't going to do that. I wasn't going to have him be miserable and worn down from age, but yet medically forced to stay alive for my sake. He had a long life, a very long one, and he made my life better, and I know I made his good too. Cody and I decided that, as long as he wasn't exhibiting a lot pain or discomfort, and still have a smile on his kitty face, then we were going to let him decide when it was his time to go.

We could sense it coming for a couple weeks. The dogs too could tell, and were being even more gentle with him than usual. Then it just came to be time. We don't know where he went nor how he got out, considering he moved at a snail's pace. But he did. We knew right away that he went off to do to forever-sleep. It's what cats do sometimes. We did spend a lot of time searching for him, several hours at a time many days over the remaining time before we moved. We didn't expect to find him alive, but had hoped to cremate him and bring him with us. Posters were put up, you name it. But wherever he went, he just wasn't going to be found.

I know he just wasn't going to die as long as he was kept by my side. He was going to fight for life and cling to it for my sake. I knew the only way he was going to be able to die was by himself. He fought for my sake until he couldn't anymore.

I've been asked over the past few months how I haven't broken down crying. It's because I'm happy for him. He deserves this eternal sleep. It had to have been exhausting getting through the day. I'm sad for myself not getting to hold him and pet him and kiss him, but more than sad for myself, but I'm happy for his sake. It's like going to sleep after years of being awake. His body was wearing out, and he was tired. He deserves to finally sleep and not have to go through another day of waking up, eating a bit, just trying to get to the next day.

When he did die, he didn't have to go alone. He chose to, and I'm not going to feel like I did something wrong by not finding him the second he did and drag him back inside and force him to see another day for me. He wasn't a stupid cat. And I'm not going to feel like a bad person because he chose to die alone. I must have done something right that he fought to stay alive as long as he did. He knew his time, and the one time this last year he went off the porch on his own was to die, and I sensed it coming.

When we cry about death, we cry for ourselves. We miss the deceased and wish for them back so we can have them, even when death is what will relieve their pain. We wish for the impossible, for time to turn back years, and then hurt because we can't have it. I know my wish for his time to turn back is impossible. I've been through enough death to accept that. He needed to get to die more than I needed him to be so incredibly tired and be alive one more day for my sake. I love him enough to wish he had dragged on another day, another week, for me. I'm not going to cry for not getting what is impossible. I'm going to be glad for what was.

I have moments of incredible sadness where my heart feels heavy, and then I remember that, if he were still with us, while he would be emotionally happy, physically he'd just be worn down and achy and tired, fighting for me despite what he wanted for himself. He died with love in his heart, and I still have it in mine.

It was his time, and in the way he chose, and I'm not going to feel bad nor blame myself for that. It's what he needed, and what he ultimately wanted. He got his way, he deserves to have had it, and that he finally took the chance and got it makes me happy for him. I wouldn't change a thing.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

President Obama's speech

Parents often encourage kids to think for themselves instead of blindly going along with the crowd. But when it comes to politics or moral issues or the president simply encouraging children to study, the tune changes and children are supposed to blindly follow along with their parents' beliefs. Such a mixed message.

This is said controversial speech< that is supposed to somehow "indoctrinate" school kids:


Sad sad SAD that the president encouraging kids to stay in school, work hard on their educations, and to take responsibility for their education, and that he knows they can do it, is so controversial. This is exactly what kids need to be hearing more. But oh shame on Obama, trying to indoctrinate kids with the message to stay in school. Oh FOR SHAME! So who's going to light the first pitchfork?

Reagan preaching Christianity to school kids (literally a direct violation of the first amendment, the government not establishing NOR ENDORSING the establishment any religion) was met with less resistance.


Oh, America, now wonder this country is in such a sorry state. Preaching religion, one religion, is fine. Encouraging kids to stay in school is evil....

Monday, September 7, 2009

25 weeks and 27 weeks

Better late than never on the promised pictures? :) Also some back-entries posted now. They were posted elsewhere, now here.

25 weeks

Pardon the mess, we'd just moved. Emma (touching my hand) and Luthien really wanted to be in a picture.

27 weeks.
I don't look too pregnant yet with regular clothes on.
She was moving!
It's rare that I'll show this scar. A few stupid people have been trying to "call me out" on it. Well, here it is. It's only part of it too, but I'm not exactly inclined to get naked to show the rest.

Some pics of the menagerie

Critter-love? What would we ever do without our four-legged babies? We've got two dogs and six cats. Three cats are here forever, three will have new homes at some point. Litter of four. Word from the learned: Never trust anyone who says that a cat was spayed a couple months before when you are taking that cat away from that person who had said cat on the ed of a rope about to ditch the por, scared-to-death thing. I immediately took Star home, got no indication she wasn't spayed (oh no, none of that freaking annoying meeeeeoooooooow-I'm-gonna-diiiieeeeee from her or anything), and ended up with kittens for it. She has a belly line, which we now knw isn't a spay-incision. I don't think I want to know what it's from when she was in a bad home before us. So that, Ladies and Gents, is why there are four kittens. And even though they were eight weeks old when we moved, "old enough", according to most, to go to new homes, oh hell no, they weren't weened plus kittens shouldn't be separated from mom before at east 12 weeks. So they moved with us. Gonna do right by them.

On with the pics!

Ah, Anakin! This kitten used to worship Ollie. Then one not so very particular day, he suddenly fell in love with me and has since claimed me. He's the kitten we're keeping.

Lil' Jack. He's become the aggressive booger of the bunch, always wanting to be Top Cat.

Rose! Rose was born at 4:15am and Jack at 4:12am. Titanic nuts will get the reference. She's sitting there happy as a clam with Emma.

Em wasn't feeling so swell (she's just a dog who has occasional down-days, nothing to be concerned about, nothing that anything can be done about, which does make us sad). So Rose decided to bathe Emma's forehead. These animals all watch out for each other so much!

The smallest kitten of the bunch. We call her Panda, or Panda-face, because, when she was newly born, she had panda-like markings on her face. She's curled up on top of Emma.

Dumb-dumb! Okay, so this is Luthien. Yeah, she's dumb. Dumber than a box of rocks. But my dog, she's a sweet as can be, and is the MOST maternal animal I have EVER seen. She'd have been a good momma, but alas, her parts were cut out, so she has to settle for being a surrogate to every other living thing. She practically surrogates the kittens.

Starbuck! Oh how we leared the hard way not to trust anyone who says a cat is spayed already. But what do you do when a cat's supposed to have been spayed? Have her cut open again to make sure? And why, damn cat, couldn't you have shown the annoying cat-in-heat signs to alert us? Whyyyyy? You do now, plenty of it. It's been 12 weeks or so. Hurry up and ween the damned kittens so we can have you spayed. I'm convinced you know we won't rehome any of he kittens until they've weaned naturally. Silly Star.

This was taken at our old apartment, so we don't have stairs anymore. Ollie (Oliver) is a ginormous love-ball who pretends to be all tough and stuff. He's dominant as hell with other cats and has one giant set of figurative balls for not having any literal ones. He'll prance around like the king of the castle until he sees a hand. Then he'll head-butt the palm of that hand and roll over like the toasted-marshmallow he really is for pettings.

Also taken at our old place. Told you Ollie's girmous. Emma there is a full-grown golden retriever. See doggy. See cat as big as doggy.

I miss Yoda. He'd be 24 now, and instead has been gone 12 weeks, just 48 hours before the kittens were born.