Will my mother ever SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Now she's texting me. She called day before yesterday and yesterday too see how Charlotte was doing before starting to yell at me for "not caring" about when she was homeless, and then texted me a few minutes ago pissed that I didn't take care of her last year. Really, what the flying fuck was she expecting us to do?! Ever since my dad died, I'd done all I could to take care of her, get her bills paid, her rent, making sure she had food, even when it meant skipping my own bills or skipping groceries for myself. A couple times management at one of the Archstones I lived at was nice enough to let me be a couple weeks late on rent because her own apartment manager wasn't going to let her be late again. It took until February of last year to finally say NO MORE, after we were nearly evicted using our rent to get HER moved to keep a roof over HER head. How dare she insist I have never taken care of her!! I've nearly ended up homeless again and have literally gone hungry so she wouldn't have to!! I can't believe she genuinely thinks I should have been sheltering and feeding her last year when I was pregnant and we didn't have enough for even just me at times.
She is so selfish!! Until she got sick with this tumor, it was all her fault she was going through hell instead of living a life of luxury. Give her any money and she'd drink it away.
I do NOT believe alcoholism is a disease - show me the physical proof, the cells that have mutated, the body attacking itself, or something. Calling it a disease gives alcoholics reason to say, "It's not my fault," and to shun responsibility, and so why bother trying to go to therapy or AA if it's something beyond their control. If you don't drink to excess, you won't become an alcoholic. Drink a single drink a night, and you won't become an alcoholic Drink all the time, and you will. I'm pretty sick and tired of every vice being called a disease rather than telling people to be responsible for themselves and their actions.
Mom would use this as justification for buying alcohol. "I have a disease. I need alcohol." She did this for five goddamned years.
After getting her into a house while we were crammed into a really tiny apartment, she went off and caused some massive fights with her housemate, and it was then that finally I'd had enough of paying for her.
What's insulting too is that neither time I was homeless did she lift a finger to help me, yet she expects me to keep supporting her financially. The first time I was homeless was her fault. I'd been out of the hospital three days, a stay during which I was comatose for weeks, was rushed into the ER on an emergency basis more than once, etc.. She had vodka, then started in on me for not dong the laundry. I couldn't even shower on my own yet! So she kicked me out. Didn't give me a chance to get any clothes. I had the clothes on my back and grabbed my backpack and Yoda while on the way out the door, and she told me if I didn't leave, she was calling the cops, phone in her hand. I tried calling a few hours later from a phone at the high school down the road, and she said if I called again, she was going to call the cops for harassment. I ended up in the ER twice during that time, and still she wouldn't budge An ex-employer of mine found out and took me in. Word got back to mom about that, and then she finally consented to me being back in the house, but only because she didn't want someone else to look better than her.
And yet she expects me to have gotten her another place to live after all we did do for her, all the money I spent over the years, all the money Cody and I spent together after getting together, after paying her rent at her old apartment and moving her to a house, complete with paying the deposit and rent for a while, risking our own housing for her.
She's claiming Steve, the meth addict who's hit her and took advantage of her, makes her feel alive again like Dad did. Oh hell no. She did NOT compare MY dad to an abusive druggie.... I can't believe she could mean that.
She will never meet Charlotte. I will not allow my daughter around the type of person Mom and Dad years ago struggled to get me and my brother away from. I will NOT willingly walk my daughter right into the center of drugs and violence, right into a place where I'd be constantly worried about someone harming her, or at least fantasizing about it.
Really, she could die right now for all I care. She's doing nothing but trying to drag me down again, and I'm not going to have it.
I need to go find a way to cheer up. Maybe a long hot shower and some spaghetti, and then back to working on getting my sewing room in order.