Friday, February 26, 2010

I had a moment on momtuition last night that she should be checked, so Cody's mom brought me and her to the ER here since Cody's also been sick. She's been lethargic, throwing up everything she's eaten and half of what she ate Wednesday, clammy, not as responsive as usual, fussier than normal, and very warm. I didn't get the feeling it was just a usual bug, and had a gut feeling she was dehydrated.

She was definitely dehydrated. She's weighed every Wednesday morning, and on the 10th she was 12lb12oz, 13lb14oz on the 17th, 13lb10oz on the 24th (this started my concern), and ended up being 12lb11oz last night. That's quite a drop in just 36 hours. I lost track at seven sticks to get an IV started. She had an -ray taken and an ultrasound. She also had blood work done. That bitchy nurse who took the blood was not only nasty to Cody's mom, but she lost the blood, which I found between the bed Charlotte was on and the wall. Since it was a busy night, we were in the hall, and that nurse didn't even tell anyone the blood wasn't turned in. We and the doctor were waiting for the results, and I was looking for something else when I found the bag with the vials a couple hours later. I've lodged a complaint. Until I found that, another doctor had ordered more blood since we needed the results. Charlotte would have been poked again without it being found.

Anyway, the doctor assigned to her now was thinking GERD or gastroenteritis, among other things, though gastroenteritis seems most likely now. She's doing better today, but will remain here again tonight for continued observation. She's off the saline drip and they want to make sure she can maintain hydration and keep food down, though she still has the IV. It was so hard listening to her scream as she was being poked to get that thing in. I held her during two attempts, then just couldn't anymore because I was just too upset. It was torment hearing her scream for me (she makes a sound like "mummummummmm, mummummummm" when she wants me) and not being able to make it all better for her. I just wanted to snatch her up and cuddle her and kiss away the pain in her hands and feet from all the pokes.

I'm still allowed to nurse her. She needs breastmilk more now than when she's well, not only for the nutrition but the comfort. The poor baby was being tortured, as far as she understands, to get the IV in. We know that she's not going through anything life-threatening at this moment, but it's still hard enough.

Not only do we not like seeing her hurt and afraid of what's going on, but it takes standing firm on certain things, like vaccinating and co-sleeping. They are trying to talk us into a bunch of vaccines and having her sleep in the crib overnight. We are not going to let her tiny, already-sick body be pumped full of vaccines (even healthy children routinely get sick for a few days!), and I'm not going to have her waking up in a strange place and not have mommy there when she's slept every single night of her life with me. The cots here are firm and have solid rails that make it so she can't fall off. So she stays with me. She needs as little change at the moment as possible.

It's nerve-wracking feeling like, while we're here, someone else is in control of my baby instead of me or Cody. We can't enter or exit the ward without permission, and even though we, as the parents of a patient haven't been denied (and I haven't left at all), it's still not a nice feeling having to basically get permission to come in. At least the ped and PICU staff are extremely kind and attentive.

I can't wait until we're all home.

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