Thursday, October 13, 2011

Depression is setting in, really bad depression.

We applied for a home loan and were denied for not having established credit. We did the responsible thing by never living outside our means, and it bit us in the ass.

So then we decided to see if we could finance an inexpensive motorhome with 35% down, and...we need established credit.

We can't rent because of the shit with Archstone I'm still dealing with (if I was in California, I'd sue, but I'm not, and we can't afford for me to travel, even though I can prove there were no damages, and Achstone's own website helps me prove my case).

And the RVs we can afford to pay in full for have all been crap. We're not looking for pretty, but reliable and structurally sound. But we're not finding either. The one we saw yesterday wouldn't even start.

This hotel we're in is the lowest priced in the area. Not many hotels allow starts part four weeks. We're in one where many of the people here have been here longer than we have been. It's not half bad, but expensive still, more than twice the cost of rent, plus everything we have is in storage for another $250 a month. I'm really wishing right now that I have a couple more of my dress forms with me, especially since I'm working on an order right now that's larger than the form I have with me. Can't afford to buy another right now, but I could really use my size large one (over the years, I've accumulated all sizes from child to petite adult to plus size adult and everything in between except men).

I'm angry that money's so tight that a trip to Goodwill makes me feel like there's a weight on my chest (they were woefully low on jeans in my size, like none - tall jeans are hard to find at all, even harder in smaller sizes). I'm angry that we can't spare $20 for me to buy some fabric I'm dying for to make into a warm skirt. I'm angry that my jeans are getting holes. I'm angry that we're worried about food and never have more than a few days' worth because if we buy more than two or three days' worth at a time, we go ballistic and eat a lot. I'm angry that it looks like Charlotte will be spending her birthday and Christmas cramped in a hotel. I'm angry that Cody's and my first wedding anniversary won't get to be anything special, nor will our birthdays. I'm angry that it's no longer a big deal to say that we're homeless. I'm angry that we don't have any place to call home. I'm angry that we've done it all "right" and are willing to scrimp and sacrifice, and have been doing so, and all we have to show for it is nothing at all.

We're burning through our savings just trying to meet basic expenses here, and dress orders have become vital. At this rate, we can get by for maybe another three months, and I don't know what we'll do after that.


  1. I can't believe they won't give you a loan with a 35% down payment. Down payments are better predictors of loan performance than credit history, credit ratings, or anything else. Just shows how messed up lending practices are these days.

    Your post reminds me, Margaret needs more toddler dresses; sounds like I should get that order in. I'll email.

  2. That's what we thought. 35% is a pretty good downpayment and covers most of the overhead (an ex of mine was a dealer, and the general rule of thumb is to double the total cost to the dealer up to $10k, and a lower percentage over that). You'd think someone who was willing to cover most of the out-of-pocket to the dealer would be seen as a good risk over someone who wanted to put very little down and rely on their credit record. A couple people I know in banking have been saying it's becoming more common these days to see people with perfect credit who realize they're about to sink pushing their credit for all they can get before walking away from it all. But someone who doesn't use credit at all has nothing to walk away from. So someone who puts down a larger down payment and has no other debt would seem to be the better risk than someone with several credit cards in use.

    And John's lot had these disabling devices with coded boxes in them that had to have a new code punched in every month, and his lot would only give that number if the payment was made. More than once, someone wouldn't pay, then would rush in to pay when they couldn't start the vehicle. It was in the sale contract that this device was present and would remain in place until paid off, as well as a hidden GPS device (similar to LoJack) enabling the tracking of any vehicle someone stopped paying on or tried removing the disabling device. John and his partner were able to offer lower prices because they had a lower loss rate because of these devices. Usually their losses happened if someone crashed and totaled the vehicle. I don't know why more dealers don't use that.

    I'm going to see another RV this morning with a friend who knows more about them than Cody and I combined do, and if I like it, I'm going to see if the dealer will hold it until Cody gets off work, and leave a cash deposit. It's one that's the same line as one we went to see Wednesday and got there less than an hour after it had sold.


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